We at the Monterey County Rape Crisis Center know that men can also be victims of sexual abuse. No matter when the abuse happened, we help men who have survived unwanted sexual experiences move forward.
If you have been sexually assaulted, the most important thing is your safety!
Make sure you are in a safe environment and your attacker will not be able to hurt you again. Once your safety is secured, your next step should be to seek medical attention. The Monterey County Rape Crisis Center offers accompaniments to the Community Hospital of the Monterey Peninsula (CHOMP) and Natividad Medical Center for individuals who are interested in undergoing a medical forensic exam and have evidence collected. You can choose to report the crime immediately or if you are 18 years old and above, you can choose to press charges at a later time.
Men experience many of the same emotional and physical traumas that women experience. The problem is men are less likely to report and more likely to blame themselves for an attack.
Some of the most common feelings males express include:
One major fear of male survivors of sexual assault is the belief that it means they are gay. For more information, refer to our Frequently Asked Questions page. Rape is a crime of power, dominance and coercion, not sex and sexuality. Male perpetrators of sexual abuse typically choose victims who they feel they are able to dominate and overpower, but this has no relationship to homosexuality.
After being sexually assaulted, men sometimes feel they should have been able to protect themselves against the rapist or it was somehow their fault. Rape is a crime of coercion and force and is never the victim's fault.
We live in a culture that prides itself on an image of masculinity that stresses men as strong and violent people who don't cry. We get many of these images from mass media which honors men for their ability to be the protector in any relationship. A consequence is men often believe they cannot be victimized sexually. When they are raped, there is a dangerous tendency to blame themselves for the assault.
Being victimized makes us angry and fearful. It is okay to feel angry and upset for being hurt. The objective is to utilize that anger for constructive purposes (i.e. speaking out against sexual violence).
It is common to deny or ignore what has happened. We often feel that if we pretend something didn’t happen, it will make it go away. It is better to seek counseling and support from someone you trust to help you face what has happened.
It is important to address the pervasiveness of sexual violence within the LGBTQI (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and Intersex) community. Studies indicate that rates of sexual abuse and assault of gay men may be higher than those found in studies of men generally (i.e. without reference to sexual orientation). In addressing issues of sexual abuse within the LGBTQI Community, there are still wide misconceptions about homosexuality and sexuality. Men living with male intimate partners experience more intimate partner violence than do men living with female intimate partner