The Monterey County Rape Crisis Center (MCRCC) is a nonprofit agency whose mission is to advocate for all victims and survivors of sexual assault and child sexual abuse, to prevent sexual violence in our community through education, and to provide ongoing support and healing to survivors of sexual assault.
 
 
 



Potential Red Flags in Any Relationship!

Your partner doesn't respect your desire to wait
Be cautious anytime someone use the phrase "If you loved me..." Love is something special shared between two people and should not be used as a tool for manipulation.

Your partner doesn't want you to be friends with his friends
This may not seem like a big issue now, but why the secrets? If someone's secretive about their friends, what else don't you know?

Your partner uses violence to achieve a desired goal
Even if it's just one time, violence breeds violence! Once someone uses violence, it becomes easier to use it in the future.

Your partner doesnít want you to meet their parents
Again, why all the secrets? If you two are in a relationship and really like one another, wouldn't you want one another to meet your family and friends?

Your partner treats you differently when itís just you two
Girls typically say this if their boyfriend seems really into them when it's just the two of them, but he ignores or makes fun of her when he's with his friends. Boyfriends and girlfriends should respect one another all the time, not just when they're alone.

Your partner tries to convince you to change
You should love one another for who you are. Often if one person is trying to convince the other to change, that person is dissatisfied with themselves in some way (i.e. trying to convince you that you are depressed or moody, when they're dealing with personal difficulties and low self-esteem).

Questions and Answers

If my partner forces me to practice oral sex, is it still rape?
Yes! In the state of California, rape is not limited to vaginal penal penetration. Oral and anal sex are also considered rape as someone is forcing, coercing or manipulating another into participating against their will.

If someone forced me to have sex while I was drunk, will I get in trouble for underage drinking?
California state law says that one cannot consent to sex while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. This does not mean that anyone who is drunk and has sex is violating the law, but what it does mean is that you have personal rights that must be respected even if you are drinking. Most law enforcement officials consider rape a more serious offense than underage drinking and although your parents might not be happy you were drinking, it does not change the fact that you were violated and should consider reporting.

If I report a sexual assault to the police, will my parents find out?
Probably. You can undergo a (sart) exam without your parentís consent, however, medical providers are required to report crimes to law enforcement. If your parents are there during the police report, you can ask to complete the full interview in private. This way your parents won't know the full details of the incident. During this time, the advocate from the Monterey County Rape Crisis Center in Monterey (831) 373-3955 or in Salinas (831) 771-0411 can speak with your parents and explain the procedures.
Remember: Anything you tell the sexual assault advocate will be kept confidential unless you give the advocate permission to speak with your parents.

How can I tell if Iíve been given a date rape drug?
Many times when people are unknowingly drugged, they will experience similar effects as those felt after drinking alcohol, but the effects will often occur more rapidly. For example, if you can normally drink 5 beers without feeling any effects, you may feel "drunk" after 1 or 2. Often, people will black out and forget many of the events of the previous night. For more information on date rape drugs, click here.

If I think I have been raped, how long do I have to report?
In general, the rule for evidence collection and prevention prophylaxis (i.e. prevention from STDs, pregnancy, HIV/AIDS) is 72 hours. This does NOT mean you cannot report if more than 72 hours have passed. Law enforcement officials will conduct an investigation and transfer the file to the District Attorney's Office who will decide whether there is sufficient evidence to prosecute.

What is the normal reaction to sexual assault?
There is no "normal reaction" after a rape. We are not trained on what to feel and how to react during and after a sexual assault. Some responses include: anger, frustration, self-doubt, self-blame, confusion, sadness, feelings of loneliness, etc. Know that you are not alone and there are people here to help you. For more information on steps to take after a sexual assault, click here.

For additional information on what to do if you or someone you know has been a victims of sexual assault, click here.

Suggested Websites for Teens:

My Strength or Mi Fuerza
www.mystrength.org or www.mifuerza.org

TeenCVS
www.teencvs.org

Teen Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape
www.teenpcar.com

Planned Parenthood Teen Website
www.teenwire.com

Top of Page

 

Approximately 77% of completed rapes are committed by someone who is known to the victim. This compares to about half the victims of violent crimes that knew their offender.


"Of the 22.3 million adolescents in the U.S. today, 1.8 million have been victims of serious sexual assault."


"Women who reported childhood rape were three times more likely to become pregnant before age 18."
     
     
Home