The
Monterey County Rape Crisis Center (MCRCC) is a nonprofit agency
whose mission is to advocate for all victims and survivors of
sexual
assault and child sexual abuse, to prevent sexual violence in
our community through education, and to provide ongoing support
and healing to survivors of sexual assault.
We at the Monterey County Rape Crisis Center acknowledge that men can be victims of sexual abuse and want to challenge the myth that men cannot be sexually abused. All our services are available to both men and women. We have several men who volunteer on our 24-Hour
Crisis Line (831) 375-4357 in Monterey or (831) 424-4357 in Salinas/South County and respond to hospital calls (please click here for our SART program). We also offer individual and group therapy designed specifically for men. For more information on counseling services. Click her for our counseling services.
MCRCC partnered with Terri DeBono and Steven Rosen to produce a groundbreaking documentay entitled “Boyhood Shadows: I swore I’d never tell”, the documentary reveals Glenn’s story that began as a young boy under the power of a sexual predator. The narrative chronicles Glenn’s struggle as he tries to make sense of his life, telling no one. After suffering decades of addiction, Glenn breaks the silence describing his past…funny, poignant, and sad.
Glenn’story is interspersed with those of twenty other boys-turned-men, many from MCRCC’s men’s support group. Their stories are all different, but, unfortunately, all the same. One in six boys is sexually molested by the age of 16.
After just over a year of working on it, MCRCC is proud to announce that the documentary on male sexual abuse that the agency has been associated with is now complete.
The premiere was held on Monday, September 22, 2008 at the Steinbeck Forum at the Monterey Conference Center.
To view and share our current public service announcement for men
click here:
Men experience many of the same emotional and physical traumas that women experience. The problem is men are less likely to report and more likely to blame themselves for an attack.
Some of the most common feelings males express include:
Self-Doubt
One major fear of male survivors of sexual assault is the belief that it means they are gay. For more information, refer to myths and facts. Rape is a crime of power, dominance and coercion, not sex and sexuality. Male perpetrators of sexual abuse typically choose victims who they feel they are able to dominate and overpower, but this has no relationship to homosexuality.
Guilt
After being sexually assaulted, men sometimes feel they should have been able to protect themselves against the rapist or it was somehow their fault. Rape is a crime of coercion and force and is never the victim's fault.
Shame/Self Blame
We live in a culture that prides itself on an image of masculinity that stresses men as strong and violent people who don't cry. We get many of these images from mass media which honors men for their ability to be the protector in any relationship. A consequence is men often believe they cannot be victimized sexually. When they are raped, there is a dangerous tendency to blame themselves for the assault.
Anger
Being victimized makes us angry and fearful. It is okay to feel angry and upset for being hurt. The objective is to utilize that anger for constructive purposes (i.e. speaking out against sexual violence).
Denial
It is common to deny or ignore what has happened. We often feel that if we pretend something didn’t happen, it will make it go away. It is better to seek counseling and support from someone you trust to help you face what has happened.
GLBTQQI
It is important to address the pervasiveness of sexual violence within the GLBTQQI (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning and Intersex) community. Studies indicate that rates of sexual abuse and assault of gay men may be higher than those found in studies of men generally (i.e. without reference to sexual orientation). In addressing issues of sexual abuse within the GLBTQQI Community, there are still wide misconceptions about homosexuality and sexuality. Men living with male intimate partners experience more intimate partner violence than do men living with female intimate partner
For information if your loved one has been sexually assaulted click here.
SUGGESTED READING:
-Gil, Eliana, Ph.D., Outgrowing The Pain Together, Dell, New York, NY, 1992.
-Hansen, Paul A, Ph.D., Survivors & Partners, Heron Hill, Longmont, CO, 1991.
-Klein, Allen, The Healing Power of Humor, Tarcher/Perigee Books, New York, NY, 1989.
-Levine, Robert Barry, When You Are the Partner of a Rape or Incest Survivor, Resources -Publications, San Jose, CA, 1996.
-Lew, Mike, Victims No More, Harper Collins, New York, NY, 1990.
"It is unimaginable what happens to you when your daughter is raped. How do you describe hell? There are no words. There are feelings of massive revenge. You just want him killed. It stays with you for the rest of your life."
